002 the first fall

thoughts‎ > ‎

posted Dec 5, 2009 9:33 PM by Rachin Galav [ updated Apr 23, 2011 10:39 AM by Film Maker ]

its been over 2 months (i believe) i was out of the contest

it never really hurt me, instead i was am will be happy that i tried

i feel i learnt a lot about editing in those 3 days

at least it made me do something just a week after getting my macbook

but since then have done nothing material

i do not know what to do now..

clueless

ideally i would want to quit my day job

but specifically from the point of view of what i do

i think m good at it and its going good

but its the atmosphere now, i feel i need to be out of this

in 2 yrs i've seen a world where being ruthless and self centered

is referred to as being professional

and if i've to be this person to please "the guy"

then what is the point

if i've to go about doing things other than my work, to move forward

i'd rather do something my own and butter away forward

the reason the first plunge took so much time i believe

is that my cushion, my backup (my current job) was going good

in a 2 yr career i achieved what i set out to

learn a special tech, get promoted, get a letter of thx from the management

but even after all this (and even more), today, right at this very moment

i m not happy

and all this has happened dramatically in the last 2 months

the dream, the first plunge, the backup

feel everything is messed up

need direction

help!

somebody

anybody..

here i go..